How can I use the sentences reducing strategies?

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Schenker, in her article “Smart House”,Speak up 169, accounts in the future, thanks for technology, houses will be networked making people’s life easier and comfortable. Electronic devices will be connected to Internet and will have special chips to control housework, communications, shopping, bills or people social life. Disadvantages of having a networked house do not seem to be significant. People will just have to pay some extra dollars for the extra chips. Connection to Internet and the security to protect systems against pirating. Maintenance will not have to be afforded by people because service will repair themselves. The author concludes that the money spent by people will not mean much considering all the benefits of having a smart house.

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This study went through 1,600 marginal and comments written on 110 drafts of essays by 47 university ESL advanced students, considering pragmatic goals and linguistic features of comments. Drafts of individual essays were examined to observe the influence of the first draft commentary on the students’ revisions and asses the changes that were made in response to teacher’s feedback improved the essays. The author thinks that significant proportions of comments led to substantive student revision, and there were particular types of commentary were more helpful than others. The final results are suggestive of several important implications for L2 writing instruction and future studies on a vital neglected topic.